So, Ryan and I are thinking about getting couples tattoos. Please spare me your opinions or beliefs about how they're known to be the "kiss of death" for relationships. I think everyone who knows us should know that we are the farthest thing from your average tattoo-getting couple. Besides, what we have in mind is very subtle and technically they aren't even going to match. I have put a lot of thought into mine. I have two other tattoos. One of them I got when I was 19 on a whim. I was spending a weekend with my best friends, and we wanted to do something out of the ordinary and exciting. So they accompanied me to get my very first tattoo. I had not done any research on the artist or the salon or even what I wanted. When I got to the shop, I just picked something out of a book. I put it in a place where I knew my mother wouldn't see it. If you were to see this particular tattoo, you would think, "Well, that's silly, it doesn't have any meaning, it's just a silly heart." But it means so much more than that to me. You see, this particular tattoo reminds me of a time in my life when I was hurting. I was fresh out of high school, taking basics at the community college, didn't know what I wanted to do with my life, wandering aimlessly, very far away from God. This tattoo reminds me of how far I've come. I regret the tattoo placement. I regret that I lied to my parents about it. But do I regret the actual tattoo? Heck no.
My second tattoo I got when I was 23. I had just broken up with my boyfriend of five years. I had dropped out of court reporting school. Once again, I was hurting and wandering and lost. Only this time, I was not far from God. I was angry at God for changing my life in such a drastic way like that. I told my friends that I equated it to having a rug ripped out from under me. I had my whole life planned out, the future looked clear, and then God said, No, that's not my plan for you. It hurt. I was scared. And instead of running from God, this time I ran to him. And he gave me this verse. John 16:33 "I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this life you will have trouble, but TAKE HEART, for I have overcome the world." Oh my soul rejoices every time I hear it, every time I say it. I knew I had to mark this on my skin as a permanent reminder to myself. So on a hot night in June, my cousins and I went to a tattoo shop, one I had researched well, and I got the words Take Heart tattooed on my wrist. I have not regretted this decision for even one second. It's in a very obvious place where people often see it. My favorite thing is when people ask me about what it means and I get to share the scripture with them. It makes my heart so happy.
This tattoo that Ryan and I are getting is different though. My past two tattoos I got in a time of pain. This one will be in a time of joy. I am still undecided. But I am seriously considering getting the words, "Beauty For Ashes" tattooed on my shoulder, with our wedding date underneath it. This phrase is from a verse out of Isaiah. (61:3 if you're curious!) It describes the way I feel about meeting Ryan. When I met Ryan, I was in a very bad place. I didn't believe I would ever find a man who would love me just the way I was. I didn't believe in soulmates. I didn't believe that God had made another heart just like mine. I definitely didn't believe I was ever going to find that heart. My heart had been broken and burned. Ashes.
Ryan is so much more than just my husband. He is my spiritual leader. He is my soulmate. He is my walking, talking answered prayers! If ever I doubt that God is listening, if ever I doubt that God can hear me, all I have to do is look at Ryan. And I know He's there. I know He's been there all along. I know that even in my darkest times, that He has never left me and that all this time He has been perfecting His plan in my life. It's breathtaking. It's beautiful. He gave me Beauty in return for my Ashes.
Beauty from Ashes.
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